Who (if anyone) watched the Oscars on Sunday night? Over here, this is obviously quite a big thing (well, someone has to watch it), so I felt obliged to indulge in a little American culture (oxymoron?). Nicole Kidman blubbing, Jack Nicholson still being a ladies man at the age of one hundred and four and Steve Martin jokes excepted, I quite enjoyed the event, though I doubt I will set the alarm clock next year. Michael Moore’s speech was great fun to listen to, as was the even more revealing report on CNN afterwards that, just in case any Americans were worried, the Oscars were broadcast live to the Iraqi people… apparently, Tariq in Tirkut was delighted by this as he had been so stressing over the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar ever since the nominations. OR MAYBE NOT…
Which allows me to make two more insights into American life. Firstly, driving: on residential roads, they are far better than we are in Europe. Those funny little signs that we have denoting ascending and descending numbers are actually used as so-called ‘speed limits’ over here. Cynically (oh dear, there I go again) I might say that the absence of indicators on the back of cars (well, they are the same colour as the break lights) could be responsible for this increased caution as nobody has the slightest idea what the car in front of them might do (rather like the Belgians, so I’ve heard). However, after a while, you just get used to driving slower and I will probably feel a little (more?) like Grandpa Scholey when I get back. On the flip side, American driving on toll ways / highways / freeways / interstates (don’t ask me, they all look the same as far as I am concerned) is atrocious. Having long been an exponent of undertaking in the UK, I now realise the error of my ways; I now drive at 60mph on all these roads (and I’m still not the slowest car on the road!!!).
My second insight concerns integrating Americans into what we, elsewhere, call “the world.” The global situation as it is, along with simple perceptions like Americans being big, bad and brash, are not aided by the number of Americans who travel the globe. These seem to fall into three basic categories: the enlightened ones; those interested in revisiting their origins shortly before they join their maker; and those interested in making a buck. However, one very good reason for this is the total lack of holiday (vacation) here, coupled obviously to the distance of travel). Can you imagine many in the UK visiting the US if we had only ten days holiday a year? What strikes me as more amazing is that this is not an election issue at all in the US. You’d think that Unions, or even the federal government, would be fighting for worker’s rights. But the fear and loathing of unions here prevents this and it actually becomes a source of pride that Americans work harder than people in other countries – they are clearly mad. They also have an eight hour standard day and far fewer bank holidays, meaning that Americans generally work more than three years longer than us in a forty year lifetime (the things I work out when I’m trying to sleep?!?). Don’t anyone say a bad word against the EC again (although the US is somehow still coping with bendy cucumbers).
For the good of the world, we should all campaign on behalf of the American people for more holiday so that they can discover the delights that “other countries” have to offer. At least then, jackasses like this strange Texan chap, who talks about his “fellow Americans”, would not be able to claim, “well I went to the Paris exhibition at Disney,” as evidence of knowing that other countries exist.
Posted September 5th 2003
Scholey.com 